The Internet Inside My Mind: Vol. 1
It's just a braindump, really.
In an effort to just put stuff out there that speaks to me and makes me happy to share with you, I’ve decided to publish a weekly…kind of brain dump. The best part of having ADHD is that I am interested in a bunch of shit. The worst part of ADHD is that…I am interested in a bunch of shit. So, here’s my weekly commitment to sharing that shit with you.
Hope you like it.
ALSO: Paid subscribers get an audio version of this newsletter! I can’t tell if that’s a threat or a benefit, given how awful my voice sounds (to me, I’m actually told it’s pretty pleasant). Sign up below for a 30-day trial:
What is Florida’s End Goal?
Between catfighting with the international mouse conglomerate known as Disney and effectively pissing off every hard-working Latinx south of the Mason-Dixon line, one has to wonder: what the hell is Florida’s end game? I am not going to pretend to be smarter than the hundreds of other people writing and talking about this topic, but I do have a few thoughts:
Disney Cannot Uproot from Florida: Yes, Disney has billions of dollars and can probably drag DeSantis in court for decades to come, but the company can’t just be like, “fuck it, we’re going to Louisiana!” There are decades of infrastructure in place that would take so much money and time to rebuild. So what will Disney do? Stay and fight, or at least try and wait DeSantis out.
An Immigration Law Bluff…?: DeSantis recently signed one of the nation’s “strongest anti-immigration legislation” into law. Senate Bill 1718 penalizes employers who hire illegal immigrants, prohibits local governments from issuing identification cards to illegal immigrants, etc. The thing is, this isn’t the first bill of its kind. Arizona’s SB 1070 still has its notoriously racist "show me your papers" provision, which was contested all the way to the Supreme Court. Alabama enacted a similar law, HB 56, in June 2011. HB 56 had very identical provisions to Florida’s law, including forcing employers to verify the immigration status of their employees. But that part is largely ignored, according to folks in Alabama. The difference with Florida, IMHO, is DeSantis is using it as a presidential election experiment, attacking every complaint the “silent majority” has had in the past decades: illegal immigration, trans rights, African American History, and DEI. It doesn’t matter if it works; he has to show his intended voters that he can do something, regardless of the outcome in Florida.
DEI not for U & I: Speaking of DEI, Florida has been a little wishy-washy in its stance on teaching minority history. They’ve effectively gutted all DEI programs in public Florida universities but also recently signed a bill mandating the teaching of AAPI history in Florida public schools. But he also blocked AP African American studies in the same schools, calling it “indoctrination.” Against what? IDK, your guess is as good as mine. I think AAPI, African-American and Indigenous history are integral parts of American history and need to be taught nationwide, but given the ongoing tension between the AAPI and African-American communities, the optics are…interesting.
So what IS Florida’s end goal? Fascism I don’t think DeSantis actually cares what the end goal is because he’s betting he’ll be far away in DC by then.
I won’t stand for Queen Latifah Erasure
In the upcoming season of Bridgerton, the best thing to happen to Regency fanatics since Keira Knightly’s turn as Elizabeth Bennet (it’s me, I’m the Regency fanatic), it looks like the focus will be the love story between Penelope Featherington (played by Nicola Coughlan) and Colin Bridgerton (played by Luke Newton). And while there are some…feelings about returning to the Featheringtons after the top-tier ship that audiences got in the Queen Charlotte spinoff:
I’m more peeved that some folks are calling this landmark representation of a fat woman being loved. Is it a lot of people? No. But I have many hills I am willing to die on, no matter how inconsequential. And this hill is littered with the love stories of Dana Elaine Owens, professionally known as Queen Latifah. From “Living Single (1993-1997)” to “Last Holiday (2006)” and beyond, the rapper, actress & producer repeatedly cast herself not only as a romantic lead with a steady stream of conventionally attractive male suitors. Losing weight or changing physically was never a focal point for these shows & movies; it was just taken for granted that attractive men wanted to date her. And why not? She’s tall, has the best hair in Hollywood (argue with your mother), gorgeous skin, beautiful, smart and funny. In fact, a core memory of little fat girl Jess was watching an episode of the previously mentioned sitcom where Queen Latifah’s character and the three supporting actresses (played by Kim Coles, Erika Alexander & Kim Fields) all spotted a man at the same time. Coles, Alexander & Fields, all slender, vied for his attention, but in the end, he dated Queen Latifha’s character.
Was it revolutionary television? No. But was it damn near the only representation of a larger person being romantically pursued? YES. So, I guess, in that way, it was revolutionary. It is 2023, and we are still light years away from fat women as romantic leads (not fat men, they get to be romantic leads), but Penelope Featherington is not the originator here, K?
Respect the Queen.
It’s a Parade Inside my City, Yeah
As the popular saying goes, “Mayor Eric Adams will show up to the opening of a postcard.” The New York City Mayor's most recent hits include a huge NYPD-wide retroactive raise while proposing cutting millions of dollars from the NYPL budget. Of course, this is all done between his busy social calendar.
He’s at the Met, in the Hamptons, and I’m pretty sure I saw him at a Block Party the other day. If there’s a party? Adams is there and ready to get it popping.
Is he the first Mayor to go to events? No. Is he the first Mayor to attend a French Montana listening party? YES. Whether the former NYPD transit officer-turned-politician goes to his office or not, the optics are a mess considering his hard stance on remote work. Adams has repeatedly lamented the “drain” on the NYC economy as thousands of New Yorkers opt to continue working from home. By economy, of course, he means the interests of corporate rental building owners.
New York is more than just office buildings and hour-long commutes, but how would Adams know that? He’s too busy head-bopping with Cara Delevingne or whatever he does as part of his mayoral duties.
America Has a Remix
JUST as I was hitting “publish” on this, Kendrick Lamar randomly dropped a remix for Beyonce’s “America Has a Problem,” which is what I consider to be one of the superior tracks from last year’s “Renaissance.” Because, let’s be clear, America has many, many problems. While the track, and the accompanying imagery Queen Bey used for the remix, an American flag made of red, white and blue bullets, at face value critiques America, it’s more about America’s obsession with Bey. I think that in line with the unseriousness of a track that croons, “just know I roll with them goons,” Lamar’s lyrics fit well.
Twitter and Tiktok (the only social media networks that seem to matter right now) are pretty split on the track. Some Twitter users candidly said, “nobody asked for this,” and others seem to love it. Me? I kind of like it; it’s funny to see Pulitzer Prize winner Lamar spit out lyrics like, “Go stink!” but, alas, that’s the duality of man, innit?
What say you? Are you here for Kunty Kendrick?