Even in Death, Fat People Aren't Allowed to Rest
All Bodies are Deserving of Love and Respect, Regardless of Your Size, Gender, Ability or Socioeconomic Status
I recently learned about the passing of fat activist and content creator Adrienne Bennett. Adrienne was on a personal journey to learn to love herself fully; a journey she graciously shared with us via her platform #nomorehiding. I am hesitant to admit that upon hearing of her untimely passing, rather than reminisce on the joy and light she emanated, her laughter, the kind words, and vulnerability, my mind immediately went to what others would say about her. Adrienne was a person living in a fat body. And not a small fat body, a larger fat body. When larger people die, friends, family, and the general public are often quick to point to weight and deduce two things:
Had they “simply lost weight” they would still be alive;
Because they were fat, on some level, their death was not only imminent but also justified.
The judgment of fat people (and others) is often swift and merciless. Health is treated as an issue of morality, and if your physical form doesn’t meet the standards set forth by the judge, jury, and executioner that is the internet, then the message is very clear: your death was an inevitability, and it was your fault.
Covid-19 & The Slippery Slope to “Manageable Deaths”
It may seem far-fetched to think there are people who truly believe some death is deserving due to poor health. But I don’t think it is. Covid-19 is responsible for the deaths of more than one million people in the United States to date. Many of those were from vulnerable populations; the elderly, people with compromised immunity, fat people, young children, and people with both physical and intellectual disabilities. Rather than elicit sympathy for the most susceptible in our society, quite the opposite, some went as far as to imply that we should get used to Covid deaths in “certain populations.” In 2020, Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick was quoted saying:
“Those of us who are 70 plus, we’ll take care of ourselves. But don’t sacrifice the country.” -Dan Patrick via NBC News
I figured once the news about the link between obesity and Covid-19 severity made its way to mainstream media, and therefore, social media, Covid-related deaths in fat people would be quickly brushed off as a personal fault rather than a systemic failure. Medical researchers admitted that vaccines weren’t tested on enough larger bodies, and weight stigma and a lack of research on Covid-19 in fat bodies only exacerbated the problem. A large body of research shows intentional weight is rarely sustainable, and each subsequent attempt actually shortens life expectancy.
In short; they know fat people are dying at a higher rate, and weight loss is pretty fucking difficult, but they don’t care. when disabled, poor, or fat people die, it doesn’t make the headlines as much, and it certainly doesn’t elicit any sympathy.
Fat People’s Deaths are a Joke…Just Ask Elvis
Besides the very real example of fat people and Covid-19, we can easily look to pop culture and the media to gauge how people feel about the deaths of fat people. Heaven forbid I defend Elvis Pressley (stan Sister Rosetta Tharpe and Big Mama Thornton from infinity to infinity), but decades after his 1977 death, the obesity jokes pretty much have’’t stopped. Pressley, who at 42 years old was experiencing middle-age weight gain as most humans do, was the butt of many jokes leading up to, and after, his death. A 2017 article in the Washington Post shared a salient memory of their own coverage of “The King":
“Elvis is fat,” The Washington Post’s Style section declared in June 1976, when he performed at Maryland’s Capital Centre. “Not only is he fat, his stomach hangs over his belt, his jowls hang over his collar, and his hair hangs over his eyes.”
I distinctly remember the death of the overweight, housebound mother in 1993’s What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? Played expertly by actress Darlene Cates. When she died at the end of the film, her children burned their home down. They did so out of love because the only way to remove her body was a crane, and Mrs. Grape had already endured the hatred and disgust of her fellow townspeople when she deigned to leave her home earlier in the movie. I’ve seen this crane trope several times in the media, including a 2017 episode of Family Guy. Even in death, fat people are rarely allowed our dignity.
So perhaps that’s why I took Adrienne’s death so personally. I’m afraid that when I die, I won’t be remembered for my words, my love of fashion and history, or how deeply I cared about the environment. That my weight will overshadow both my memory and any substantial contributions I have to this world. Even in death; not quite human, but rather an oddity for others to point and marvel at.
It wouldn’t kill you (no pun intended) to be compassionate
So, my plea to others who may read this, share it, or come across it is: practice compassion. For Bennett and the countless others who, at the time of their passing, weren’t your idea of what health should be. They’re still human; someone’s mother, father, sister, brother, lover, teacher, aunt, uncle, friend. Gaining weight or falling into addiction, or becoming disabled should not rob us of our humanity. Allow people the dignity of rest, all people deserve that.
If you want to donate to Adrienne Bennett’s GoFundMe for her funerary expenses, the link is here: Adrienne Bennett Medical and Funeral expenses.