Do You Want Natural Bodies or Not...?

Make up your goddamn minds and leave women's bodies alone

Note: This isn’t my usual rant disguised as a well-thought-out piece of journalism. This is just a rant. Plain and simple.

When I was in kindergarten, many, many eons ago (with Rosa Parks ‘n em, according to some Gen Z-ers), I was taught that it was rude to comment on someone else’s appearance. As kids can be particularly cruel, often we did the exact opposite, but I always chalked that up to the ongoing development of our ability to empathize. Though we are all born with the ability to be empathetic, psychologists and researchers agree that it’s a skill that must be nurtured. Constantly.

As an adult, I hold fast and true to the"five-second rule,” as described by therapist Dr. Desta in a recent Tiktok:

"The five-second rule is that we should only comment on another person's appearance if and only if they can change it in five seconds or less . . . and if you want to comment on something that someone cannot change in five seconds or less, keep the comment to yourself”

This covers comments about someone's weight, teeth, scars, stretch marks, pimples, and, yes…their boobs. Social media comedian and musician Kayla Nicole Jones rose to fame by making humorous videos about everything from her viral ponytail to her ongoing issues with clothing not fitting her slender figure. Jones is relatable because she’s not afraid to exist authentically, physically and emotionally.

After having two children, the 22-year-old’s appearance has changed because having babies changes your body.

Yep.

Growing a human being for 40 weeks tends to have a lasting impact on the various parts of your body. Jones has been candid about these changes both during and after pregnancy, but rather than shy away from her evolving form or opting for surgery (which I take zero issue with), she’s decided to embrace it. Something that some men and women can’t understand.

Which leads me to today’s question: do y’all want people to exist in their natural bodies or not?

Social Media is a Hellscape of Contradictions

Research tells us that social media is hurting our body image. In a survey of 1,000 men and women, a whopping 87% of women and 65% of men said they compared their bodies to what they see in the media. 50% of the women in study said that the comparison was unfavorable. People on social media daily express the woes of “plastic bodies” and “BBLs” and decry the effects of constantly being fed images of altered bodies.

We shout from the rooftops that beauty standards are ridiculous! Too many women run to plastic surgery! When will natural bodies be “in” again?

Unless, of course, it’s a natural body you all don’t find particularly enticing. When Jones attended last week’s 65th Grammy Award ceremony, she wore a gold low-cut dress that framed her face and body beautifully. Unfortunately, rather than focus on the fact that Jones made it to the Grammy’s on her own merit and talent, at just 22 years old, multiple commenters across Instagram and Twitter found it appropriate to remark on her breasts.

One semi-viral tweet stated, “need a boob job QUICK.” Besides the fact that Jones and her natural breasts went to the Grammy’s and this particular commentator was sitting at home admiring Jones and her natural breasts at the Grammy’s—it’s just bizarre to point that out because titties sag. Even if you haven’t birthed and/or breastfed children, breasts sagging (scientifically known as “breast ptosis”) can be due to a number of things, including genetics.

Some breasts are large. Some breasts are small. Some are further apart. Some have darker areolas. And, yes, some sag. Color me stupid, but I feel like that’s not something we should have to explain to adults, especially adults with breasts (since the person who made that shitty tweet was also a person who has breasts).

And if it’s not breasts sagging, then you all don’t like the shape of their body, their weight, their skin tone, or that they have acne or teeth. The number of times I have seen people call total strangers on the internet “bad built” is astounding and disgusting.

Someone’s appearance isn’t fodder for your non-starter social media career. A viral tweet isn’t worth publicly shaming a stranger. I expect adolescent trolls hiding behind faceless meme accounts to take shots at women’s bodies, thanks to the internet’s brand of awful misogyny (even though that is also bullshit). Still, the sheer number of grown WOMEN who echoed a similar statement was disheartening, to say the least.

So pick a damn side—if you claim to love natural bodies and would rather see those, then you have to accept that those come in various sizes, colors, shapes and…perkiness. If you only want to see perfection that adheres to what the patriarchal standards of beauty say we are supposed to look like, then I don’t want to hear shit about your body issues, confidence or self-esteem.

You can’t have it both ways.